The Night is Long and Dark but Filled with Stars
by MaryStacy
Summary: The sequel to Afterglow. Sarek and Amanda return to Vulcan with some tasks still ahead.
1. The Bonding

_This is dedicated to all of those who took the time and effort to review Afterglow over the years…_

 ** _Chapter One- The Bonding_**

The sun was just beginning to reach the horizon and had yet to chase away the night's chill. Amanda stood on the balcony overlooking the desert beyond. She was standing just outside the bedroom that she rarely used, one that she looked at as hers in name only. It would not have been proper to be met in the room that that she and Sarek actually shared. A gentle wind sent the chimes that hung along the eaves softly stirring and ruffled the light shift she was wearing. She pulled her shawl closer around her with one hand and with the other hand she fingered the tiny Tahy that Jey Du Hey had given her on Ajart. It had become a talisman for her over the last few weeks, a repository for all of her hopes and wishes.

"It is time, Amanda Grayson."

Amanda turned and nodded as T'Plilar entered the room and picked up the bag that Amanda had packed the night before. Abandoning the shawl, the young Earth woman lifted up the light cape that laid draped over the bed and and fastened it about her shoulders. She took a deep breath as she left the bedroom, giving it one last look and wondering if everything would have changed when she returned. Today, she was taking the next step in her life, one that held unknown consequences. If they were successful, she would be both wife and bondsmate by day's end.

They took an aircar, soaring up into the cloudless heights above ShiKahr, the sheer obsidian walls of the Llangon towering before them like a shield of impenetrability, as hard and unforgiving as much of Vulcan seemed to be. The aircar wove through the peaks and ridges before finally landing high above the city in front of a large gateway hidden among the rocky outcroppings. It took a few moments for Amanda to make out the building that appeared behind the ornate gates; it seemed hidden, camouflaged within the folds of rock, its walls effectively mimicking the surrounding landscape. Stepping out of the aircar, she felt dwarfed by what was now revealed to her as a massive structure, and an involuntary chill ran through her. The place gave off an air of antiquity, a time when a keep would be needed to protect against warring factions and hostile tribes.

"This is Hav'Duc'et Norem, the seat of my great grandfather's family," T'Plilar answered the unasked question, "Come. There is much to be done and they will be waiting for you."

Once, while in school in Geneva, Amanda's class had taken a trip to Barcelona to view the architecture of Gaudi. This ancient keep reminded her of that, with its adherence to the natural flow of the landscape. It was as if the mountain itself had morphed into a fortress, with its carved walls of rock following the natural contours of the mountain, complimented by mortar, tile, and brick. Amanda could not imagine the sheer power it must have taken to build this eyrie high above the city. As they entered the courtyard she was amazed at the variety of abundant life that called its crannies and nooks home, both above and below her feet. The air was filled with tiny copper and gold plumed birds and the plantings rustled with small ferret-like creatures, their fur spotted and speckled in patterns that blended in to the foliage. A central fountain, fed by a spring deep within the mountain was a source of nourishment for the assortment of living things that found the arid land below too inhospitable, all free from the harshness of the desert heat and all of them new to her eyes.

They climbed the wide stairway that led up to the structure, one made of the same obsidian material as the mountain, only veined with traces of gold and copper. Immense entrance doors were covered with hammered copper and etched with reliefs of what she assumed were epic battles. Amanda let her hands linger on them for a few brief moment, before T'Plilar's hand effortlessly pivoted the doors inward.

Entering the main hall was like entering a cathedral, a sudden hush fell. The noises of life that the courtyard promised were gone, replaced only by the tap of their feet against the elaborate mosaics that spun across the floor. The air itself seemed heavy with history. Huge tapestries hung from the walls on either side of an inner grand staircase, a staircase the equal to the one they had entered. Amanda tried to make out the subject matter of the weavings but the dim morning light shadowed their contents in mystery, the only illumination coming from a large stained glass transom which lay swatches of color down in a narrow section of the floor.

T'Plilar led the way along side the staircase and down a hall to a small room. Entering Amanda took a deep breath. The room was fairly sparse except for a few pieces of furniture, but there were more elaborate murals along the walls and on the ceiling. Across one of the lone pieces of furniture, a chaise, was draped an intricate, sleeveless ceremonial robe. She picked up the hem, weighing the heavy embroidery in her hand, admiring the fine hand-work that created it.

"This is beautiful, but I don't know that I could wear it."

"Many generations of the females our family have worn these robes to bondings, both Xcha'ala'at and Cha'al'at. There are others here that can assist in the task of getting it to fit," Her husband's niece move to an almost invisible comm unit along the wall and gave a brief call. Within seconds, two women came quickly into the room.

Amanda's cape was swiftly flung aside and they set to remaking her, attempting to hide all but the barest hint that there would be only a small, young Earth woman hidden inside the elaborate shell of fabric and jewels. First they slipped a simple dress of copper colored crystal pleated chiffon over the light slip she still wore. It was far too long and after some consultation, the best solution seemed to be a makeshift sash which pulled up the skirt to a reasonable length and blousoned the top. Over that they lay the heavy coat, with flared shoulders, decorated with embroidery and encrusted with precious and semi-precious gems. It was open at the bottom, allowing her to walk, but her lack of height resulted in an unintentional train. Unlike the dress, there was no way to shorten the elaborate coat, it would have to do. Finally, her braided hair was pinned up in intricate fashion, a headpiece placed upon it and she slipped into a pair of brocaded open-backed slippers.

T'Pliliar whispered as she slipped a small translator into Amanda's hand, "You will also need this."

The other women finished up tweaking and pulling her here and there until she fit into some idea of acceptability. They then stood back taking at their creation. Speaking among themselves they seemed to approve of their handiwork, though they spoke far too quickly for Amanda to understand much of a language she was barely starting to grasp. Never the less, she had the distinct opinion that they felt that they had done all that they could. She was never going to to be the tall, Vulcan woman the ceremonial dress was meant for.

Discreetly as possible she inserted the translator into her ear, carefully adjusting it, allowing her to follow their next instruction.

"We must go. Follow us. It will not be far."

Then they were back to the courtyard making their way over to an elaborate archway on the far side. T'Pliliar had disappeared. Amanda opened the massive door as instructed with a light touch of her hand as it pivoted outward. Beyond a short walkway, a circle of menhirs stood, within which a small party awaited.

Sarek stood in the center of the circle. Her husband was dressed in a robe heavily emblazoned with intricate glyphs, the neckpiece around his neck heavy with cabochons of ruby, garnet, and a gemstone that resembled amber. He was accompanied by a young priestess dressed in layers of sheer golden gauze, a crystal diadem on her crown, loose hair flowing below her waist. To Amanda, the woman appeared to be her own age, but she knew that in all probability she was possibly decades older.

She recognized Sarek's mother, T'Pazia, tall and imposing with great shocks of gray at the temple and running though the elaborate braids that piled upon her head, those same braids interlaced with combs that glittered with cabochons of emerald and topaz. A younger version, of her mother, T'Prala, stood along with the lone additional male member of the party, who Amanda assumed was T'Prala's husband. T'Piliar stood alongside them, now magically transformed in a few moments from an ordinary girl to one of these mystical creatures.

Amanda nervously fiddled with the translator. Did she really have anyplace among these impressive beings? She had just started to feel more comfortable here on Vulcan, and now, was she kidding herself that she would ever fit in?

The young priestess took her aside and softly spoke to her, "I am T'Sunu, priestess sent from Selaya to attempt to initiate this bond. There is nothing to fear here. I will ask for your response and approval when needed. You have no concerns regarding what is about to transpire?"

"No," She set her jaw firmly in resolution. This was what both she and Sarek wanted and needed.

"Then we begin."

In a beat, the young woman seemed to have disappeared and the priestess within had made herself known, her voice now ringing though the very mountain peaks as she raised her arms in a salute, "As it was in the beginning, as it will be in the end, minds are to be merged so that bodies may follow as well when the time comes upon each of us."

T'Sunu turned to Amanda, "This is the way of our people, this is how we survive, this is how we assure that future generations will follow in our footsteps. You agree Amanda Grayson of Earth to take Xcha'ala'at Sarek, heir to the chair of Seven Winds, son of Skon and T'Pazia, son of Solkar and Na-se-reen, to take to bondsmate, to be one with him in his time of need, never to waiver, never to fail?"

These seemed like such mighty words, and she was just one small, young Earth woman, but still she had only two words that she could ever imagine having to say, "I promise."

"You agree, Sarek of Vulcan, Xcha'ala'at and heir to the chair of Seven Winds, son of Skon and T'Pazia, son of Solkar and Na-se-reen, to take Amanda Grayson of Terra as bondsmate, to honor her diligence and perseverance in your time of need, never to forget or dishonor her commitment to your needs."

"This I promise."

The priestess motioned to Sarek as she raised her hand and held it firmly against his brow. She closed her eyes as her long slender fingers found the necessary contact points. With her free hand, she motioned for Amanda, now holding the other hand against Amanda's brow; it was a singular probe, looking for an anchor, the root of her feelings for Sarek. Amanda felt her mind rise up to greet the touch and felt a tinge of surprise from T'Sunu when the touch met it's source.

On the priestess's nod, Sarek raised his left hand against the other side of Amanda's face. His touch was like a soft caress, completing the circuit between all three parties.

After a few moments, Amanda felt a new probe, like a needle was being threaded through her mind. T'Sunu held the needle, guiding it, as Sarek threaded his thoughts through Amanda's. She felt her own mind reaching out to catch it as it made it's handiwork, grabbing the glints of emotions and memories that lay by the wayside, as she anxiously raced out to meet him.

First the probe traced along the surface, acknowledging the current cluster of feelings that lurked just beyond conscious thought. Then it sought to go deeper, like a net that was being cast and then pulled back in. Spiraling inward, Amanda started to feel as if she were on a carousel, one that started slow, gliding by a succession of memories, first hers, then Sarek's, then their shared memories, spinning ever faster and faster. Miti was a kitten in her arms for a brief moment before she spun around and it was a bear cub? A baby sehlat in her arms. Eechiya? He dropped from her arms and suddenly she was on Ajart, but it was not quite right, she was standing on the balcony to the beach below, but it seemed from a child's view, and the colors were off, so much more intense, holding far more detail then she would ever see with her own eyes. Then just as quickly it spun back to her own memory of the recent past and her own time looking out on that beach, the colors and focus re-adjusted to those she could remember.

Now she saw herself from an impossible angle, being looked down upon with a feeling of what, curiosity? Did her eyes really look so startlingly blue, her hair quite that vivid auburn? Is that how she appeared to his eyes? She felt an affirmation sweep though her thoughts like an errant breeze. Then the memory shifted and she was looking down at a proffered hand, a firefly slowly flickering, calling for a mate, the sibilant sound of Najiir's voice as she heard Sarek's name the first time, the cadence of that lush voice when he first spoke hers.

A rush of emotion when they first made love, so bittersweet that she could taste it, yet she knew her own memory brought nothing but joy. Round and round it went, deeper and deeper, until the images finally slowed, at first barely perceptively, then to a gentle crawl. No longer were her thoughts composed of visions of the past but now only of emotion and energy, met and answered in kind. At last a gentle tug started to pull her back up from the depths that she had travelled, as if someone were slowly withdrawing the needle, but leaving the thread behind, an anchor for a time of need.

T'Sunu pulled out of the link, leaving only Amanda and Sarek together within her wake. They held for a few moments, minds entwined in an impossible embrace, before he slowly started to pull them both back to the conscious world.

Amanda was suddenly aware of the stiff salty streaks that trailed down her cheeks, tears that had quickly dried in the parched air. She suspected that it might be unseemly to the others that congregated to witness the bonding, but to her, they only signified the depth of what she had just experienced and spoke hopefully of the success of the process.

She looked up at Sarek, with eyes that now knew so much more than when they began in that dance that seemed to have taken place over countless years, but was only measured in minutes. His eyes responded back in kind. So many questions she had answered, yet so many more left yet unsaid. And then the world went black.

* * *

 _Author's Note: I always felt that the "talking in the head" version of telepathy unsatisfactory, and imagined what might actually happen would be in terms of shared visuals and feelings - that there would not be a voice saying "I see a fire", but rather that the very image of that fire would be what the recipient would experience. Hopefully, I was able to demonstrate a little bit of what has no words here, using words as best I can…._


	2. Making Connections

**Chapter Two- Making Connections**

Amanda came to in a brief panic, the last thing she remembered was Sarek looking down at her with eyes that seemed to show a whole new world within them. And then? She took a moment to become familiar with her surroundings, she was back in the dressing room. How did she get here and more importantly, what had happened?

She felt a cool cloth brush against her head, hearing the faint stir of an oxygen ventilator which sat humming on the table beside her.

"Hush," A feminine voice softly informed her," You fainted."

Amanda opened her eyes slowly. She was on the chaise where the robes she had been wearing had once laid, but her robe was gone and only her simple, light shift remained. Beside her sat the young priestess, surveying her for any unforeseen side effects. Her small translator had evidently been lost between her fainting and arrival here in the dressing room, but standing by her side stood T'Plilar, ever diligent in her role as the family translator.

The offer of a cup of water was quickly accepted and she drank it just as rapidly, the cool liquid going down far too fast. She had not realized how thirsty she was until that moment and downed a second one in quick succession, and setting her on a coughing fit.

"You should drink more slowly, Amanda," T'Pliliar took the cup from her hands.

"Tres manu'k disam arite nesu, " The priestess turned to her husband's niece appraising her of her findings.

"It appears to have only been the heat and the thin air here in Hav'Duc'et Norem that caused you to lose consciousness. You needed to have your tri-ox pills upgraded to a higher dosage for this altitude in the mountains. T'Sunu does not believe that bonding itself has caused you any ill effect."

Amanda settled back into the pillows somewhat relieved, "Did it work? The bonding I mean?"

There was a moment when the two Vulcan women exchanged a few brief words before T'Plilar translated, "There is no way to know for sure. Only Sarek himself will be able to confirm if and how well it took in time. T'Sunu says that she done all she can."

The young priestess looked at her for a few long moments, with a gentle, calming glance, before tuning to leave.

"Cha'alat Amanda, I am honored to have assisted you and the Xcha'ala'at," she spoke now in heavily accented Earth Standard, and Amanda smiled, nodding in response.

"I am honored by your help, T'Sunu."

"I will… advise… Xcha'ala'at Sarek of my …appraisal. May you have Peace and Long Life," With that the young priestess moved to leave the room.

T'Plilar joined her at the door, "I will send my uncle to you as soon as he has finished speaking to T'Sunu. I am sure that you are wanting to see him, a meeting that I believe is mutual."

Amanda imagined a smile in that voice. The young Vulcan was an easy read, at least to Amanda as she had many of her uncle's mannerism. She smiled back in return, "Please."

The door was left open as T'Pliliar left and Amanda could hear the whisper of voices in the hallway, easily picking out the unique texture of her husband's voice as he drew closer. The conversation was not long, and although she cursed the loss of the translator, it was doubtful she would have picked up much of the conversation, the tones were so low.

Finally, Sarek entered the room, the heavy ceremonial robes now shed as well. He was back to being her husband, nothing more, nothing less. Carefully, he secured the door behind him, diligently maintaining their privacy.

"T'Sunu tells me that you will be alright. I feared that the bonding may have had an ill effect when you fainted."

"No, it seems it was only the thin air that got to me," She smiled, reaching for the pitcher of water but he caught it first, pouring another glass and putting it to her lips. She allowed her hands to cup his as he offered her the drink.

"You need to stay hydrated, always. The ceremony was too long, and too stressful for you. I should have expected this," He shook his head slightly, in disapproval of his own actions in holding the meld too long, "It was important that we do our best to try to create the bond, but it was at the possible expense of your health. For this, I ask forgiveness."

"It needed to be done, didn't it? And I wanted the best attempt that could be made. But it's over with now. We are official?" She questioned him as he bent to place the cup back on the small table.

"We are."

"So I am no longer Cha'ala but now…."

"Cha'alat. My bondmate and wife."

"That sounds nice," She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself up to face him, and kissed him, a long and tender kiss filled with promise, "I can't wait to get you home."

"Indeed. However, it is common first to share a meal with family and witnesses before we depart for home."

Amanda let out a small groan, eliciting a set of raised brows on her husband's part, "Well, this will be a first, dining with your family. I guess I can wait a little longer to get you alone."

He took her hand and fashioned her fingers, leaving the index and middle standing, and mimicking it with his own, touched hers.

"That's interesting, it never felt quite like that before," she said, feeling a slight current.

"We are bonded now, so you should feel a reminder of it in this touch. This is now the acceptable means of showing what is permitted in terms of affection."

"It's not bad but still I prefer this way of showing affection," she held him tight against her, diving into another long and satisfying kiss, "Do you think we can find that translator so I can understand some of what is being said about me before this dinner?"

Sarek pulled the small device from his tunic pocket and deftly clipped it within the braids of her hair.

oooo0000oooo

It had been a very long day by the time they returned to the house in ShiKahr. Amanda had enough of ceremony and formalities to last several weeks. All she wanted now was to rinse away the dust of the day and get into something comfortable.

Once the idea of a water shower being a luxury would have seemed silly to Amanda. It was a fact of life, you took a shower, you used water. But here, even knowing that the water she used would be recycled for the fountains and then as water for the plants, it still seemed a waste, so usually she went for the sonics. But tonight, tonight she wanted nothing more than to feel the cool water beating against her skin, running through her hair, washing all the hidden bits of sand and dust that today, more than ever, seemed to find purchase in every possible hiding space.

That she had such a shower was a treat, as was this room that she considered her 'retreat', the place that she could escape the mid-day heat, the air temperature adjusted to Earth-tolerable, with just a hint of extra oxygen thrown in. But the only time she slept there was if she needed to nap and get away from the extremes of the day. The bed was more often used as a resting spot for wardrobe choices on what to wear than for sleeping.

Wrapping a towel around her still wet hair, she opened the pocket doors to the adjoining room. Technically she supposed that this was her husband's bedroom, but in fact it was truly both of theirs.

As Amanda plopped herself down on the bed, Her husband looked up from the pad he had been reading.

"I thought 'No pads in bed!' ", she teased before craning her neck to see what he was so absorbed in, "Anything interesting?"

"There are minor riots on some of Earth's outer colonies by a growing fundamentalist group that appear to be somewhat troublesome."

"Any one I know?"

His raised his brows and looked at her, she imagined an equal amount of mischief in those deceptively dark eyes of his, "I would hope not."

"Which colonies?"

"Delta Five and Alpha Centauri."

"Last I heard my mother was doing some work on one of the Alpha Centauri moons." It was a long time since she had heard anything from her mother, but still, "I hope she's okay."

"I will see if Ambassador McHenry can find out any information regarding her whereabouts."

"Thank you," She settled in beside him, making herself more comfortable, "Speaking of families, I still don't understand all the ins and outs of yours!"

"Household dynamics can be complicated. You have questions?"

"Yes, let me try and figure this out. How far back can you go?"

He looked at her, "I can follow least 200 generations with ease. After that, it becomes a bit more complex. But I do not think you wish to go back that far."

"I'd say that's way too far back for me. Let's start with your grandfather, Solkar," she nodded to herself, "Start with someone I know."

Amanda dropped her head to his shoulder, setting her brow as she started to follow the line,"He has a sister?"

"Half-sister, yes. T'Pau. The shared a mother, T'Pular."

"Now Solkar holds the seat for Seven Winds."

"Yes, Duc'et Norem."

"And T'Pau, she has some sort of seat as well?"

Sarek nodded in agreement, "Unali'a' Ka. This was through her father's line."

"Unali? That's the carnivorous plant, isn't it? Not a very pleasant name, I would think," She had settled in, nestling herself on his bare shoulder, "These house names are certainly colorful, aren't they?'

"They are tens of thousands of your years old, My Wife. This plant is very common in the Dre Da Shar where that tribal seat is located."

"So the tribal names can be quite a bit more…interesting because they are all Pre-Reform?

"Indeed."

"If they were modern Vulcan, I suppose that they would be latitude and longitude."

Sarek gave her a subtle look of disapproval.

She ignored it, "But okay, got that. Any cousins there?"

"No, her only child is deceased."

"So, I don't have to worry about that line any further," She continued without skipping a beat, "And Solkar married-"

"Na-se-reen of the Sa Sai Eier. She is from one of the High Houses along the Western Coast, Sa Sai Eier, Sun's Fall."

"Is that where you get those hazel green eyes and wavy hair?"

He sighed and nodded in response, no was no use denying.

"How many children did they have?"

"Three. My father, Skon, my aunt, Nus-sca-si, and my uncle, Sunralk."

"I know that your father died about twenty years ago. How about your aunt and uncle are they still alive?"

"My aunt lives as a member of their mother's High House on the coast. My uncle retreated to Gol many years ago."

"Gawl?"

"You might say it is is like one of your cloistered religious orders, devoted to the study of the mind and logic. They renounce all worldly goods and emotional connections. My grandfather would tell you that there is always one in every family."

"The black sheep?"

"Black sheep?"

"Odd one out. Never mind, right now I am trying to get this all down pat," She gave him a light peck on his cheek, causing him to turn to her with a raised brow, "And your mother she is from?"

"Her tribal house is on the other side of the Sas A Shar, Lmal Shar, Red Sands. As she resides in ShiKahr, she frequently holds that chair for her house in council meetings, though technically it is her sister's."

"Then it's just you and your sister, TPrala. No one else that I don't know about? No other black sheep hiding in Gawl?"

"Gol, and I have a second sister who you have not met. She resides in the Hav'Gior Devol in the Northern Forests."

"And her name is?"

"T'Panoa."

"Married? Any children?"

"Her husband is Zohol and she has two sons, Zheron and Zhinai."

"Now I know T'Prala, and is married to Stahl and T'Plilar is their daughter. What is he in the grand scheme of things?"

"He is a member of one of the minor houses of Unali'a' Ka."

"No big important family connections? What happened there?"

"That was to have been me that had the politically advantageous marriage," He sighed and brushed his thumb softly against her chin.

"Oh," Amanda bit her lip and looked over at her husband, "we sort of screwed things up, didn't we?"

"indeed, we did."

"Well, I guess we had better make something of it then."

oooo0000oooo

Did she expect that some sort of change in their lovemaking to occur as a result of the bonding? If so, she was wrong, as all went on as before. There was no great sensory overload, no dramatic explosions of minds, no new and different conclusions now that they were bonded. But truth be told there was no real disappointment in that finding, sex was exciting and enticing enough as it had always been.

But she felt more… secure. Yes, that would be the word. Secure in his feelings for her, secure in knowing that they were both totally adequate for one another's needs. Secure that they would both be there for one another. Still, she felt the need to voice the questions.

"I thought things might change after the bonding? Some great merging of minds…"

"What is the physical is physical. What is mental is mental. The two are not mutually inclusive in an intimate relationship. There is only one time when a bond is used in correlation to such activities. "

"And I suppose that you don't want to talk about this?"

"Amanda, my wife, I would say this, that it will be soon enough that such talk will be useless. I fear the time will be upon me before either of us know it," He let out a deep sigh, as if finally tired of protesting, "It may be best to ask what you may now "

"So will I know when it is time? How will I know?"

"If I am short with you. If I seem to be more … emotional," It almost pained him to say the words, "If I seem to be less in control, you will know that it is time."

Amanda watched him closely, although it seemed that he dared not look at her, but instead sought to focus on the ceiling high above them. She reached out and let her fingers tenderly brush through the dark waves of his hair. He always seemed so powerful, so much a dominating force of nature, always aware and in control. It hurt her just to hear the doubt and discomfort she felt in the edges of his voice, for there surely was a shadow of pain hidden. She could hear it linger in the margins of his well-modulated tones, the velvet of his voice giving way to an almost undetectable hoarseness that lingered after his words were spoken. Maybe it was the bond that made it all the more obvious to her, or maybe as he implied, it was just the dreaded time moving closer.

She swung her leg over his waist and raised herself, straddling him, forcing him to look at her.

"I promise I will be there for you," She took his hand and placed it along her forehead, "You can feel that now, just as I can feel your love, even if you won't use the word."

"They do seem inadequate, these words of yours."

"Then how about this," she bent down and left a trail of kisses across his furrowed brow, down his glorious nose, resting long upon his lips. When he allowed her to finally pull away, she pulled herself back up to a sitting position.

"I believe that it is a sin to think that those lips of yours were not made just so that I could kiss them."

And with that she proceeded to make best on her implied threat.

oooo0000oooo

 _Author's Notes: On Canon: This seems as good a place any any to reiterate what I consider canon, because it's pretty narrow. For me, canon is aired TOS, and the TOS movies except for V (Roddenberry and Fontana did not consider V to be canon, why should I?). I do not consider any subsequent series (and this means you, TNG) to be canon. There is no nasty P-woman in my universe, no Bendii Syndrome. (See my story The End of All Things, if you have not yet read it.) I do not consider pro novels to be canon, they all contradict one another anyway. And, needless to say, I do not consider fanon to be canon, though I may at some point incorporate some ideas such as bonding/bondsmate into my universe. This leaves a whole lot of room for My HeadCanon. And be prepared to receive quite a bit of it along the way of these next two stories. I will try to explain things as part of the telling, but if any of you, my dear readers, find anything confusing, I ask you to please let me know. As always, it is my deepest hope that you will enjoy!_


	3. Storm Clouds

**Chapter 3- Storm Clouds**

Within a matter of days, the bonding had created a new found confidence in Amanda. The old doubts that had lingered regarding her effect on her husband's life and career had faded off into the background. She felt the secure in their relationship, and the value Sarek gave to it. She couldn't say that the bond was the answer to everything, but it seemed to result in a permanent kernel of reassurance in her mind, a touchstone for whenever she started to doubt herself or their relationship. It was like a living thought never far from the surface.

Tonight they had been invited to a dinner at the Earth Embassy, and she was no longer Cha'ala but now Cha'alat The wife and bondsmate of an heir to a Vulcan High House, and she pondered how to dress for the occasion. She suspected that what she was expected to wear was something formally indicating her rank, but she found herself longing to discard the traditional Vulcan clothing, if only for the evening. It was after all the Earth Embassy, it wasn't really a formal affair, and what she would really like to just wear one of the few, simple Terran-style dresses for a change that hung forlorn in the corner of her wardrobe. It wasn't a formal occasion, would it still be acceptable for her to dress in Terran-style clothing from time to time? Anything that she owned was considered conservative by Earth standards, so there was no worry about something being too scandalous.

Standing in front of the wardrobe, she let her hand linger over her choices, resting on a simple turquoise and white print dress that she had made from the length of cloth she had bought in Ajart. It was nothing spectacular, but well, it was comfortable and easy to wear and it spoke to her of recent memories of the sand and the sea. While the neckline was low in the back, the front had a boat neck, complimented by a scarf that flowed over her shoulders. With the full knee length skirt, it was nothing too revealing. She pulled it out and held it in front of her as she stood before the mirror, swinging the skirt about her ever so slightly, as if bringing the waves of various shade of blue to life, asking the fabric to join her in a dance.

"The dress will be fine, My Wife. It will only be Ambassador McHenry and Lenna. There is no need for ceremony," Sarek had entered the room quietly. Amanda wondered how long he had been watching her before he had made his presence known.

"You sure?"

He nodded in response, and she smiled in reply. It was the simple dress then, it was perfect.

oooo0000oooo

"I don't believe that you were able to see the facilities when you've visited us before," Lenna McHenry had been volunteered as a tour guide while their husbands retreated to talk business once dinner was over, "Since you are technically considered a member of the embassy staff, you have full access."

"And you had to remind me that I haven't written a word yet for Bart!" Amanda sheepishly replied. In return for his assistance in getting on and off Vulcan as a Terran citizen, he had made her a part-time embassy staff member, whose sole duty was to write an occasional report. It didn't seem to matter who she was married to, there was just no such thing as a naturalized citizen on Vulcan, and the only way to ensure her travel documents was to make her an employee at the Earth Embassy.

"You've been busy and he knows it. It's a lot to take in, getting acclimated to a new planet, especially one that can be as harsh as Vulcan. He'll get his pound of flesh out of you at some point," The older woman turned to her companion, "Have you been able to settle in yet now that you're back from Ajart?"

"It's coming along," Amanda replied, "Maybe not as quickly as I would like. But it is a lot to take in. Just trying to figure out the family connections is a chore in itself."

"I don't envy you. Bart tries to avoid even thinking about any High House politics. Of course, sometimes it's unavoidable. And High House aside, he does enjoy Sarek's company."

"I may be prejudiced, but I think I can understand that."

"Give him someone to share confidential 'men talk' with," Lenna laughed as she opened a wide set of french doors, "These are our gardens. We have the produce sectioned off by the time of year that they are in season at home. Here in what I call Summerland, we have …"

The doors opened to a sea of green, dotted here and there by bright spots of color.

"Oh! Heirloom tomatoes! I didn't think I'd ever see one again!" Before Lenna could finish her introduction to the greenhouse, Amanda had dashed over to one of the planters, reaching out and cupping one of the large tomatoes in her hand, the strong smell of the leaves lingering on her fingers after she pulled it away. She couldn't say she had always thought the leaves had a pleasant smell, but now it was rather a welcoming one. She glanced to her other side.

"And melons!" She reached down to stroke one, cool and smooth against her hand.

"And cucumbers over there, corn over to the far corner. Plus all varieties of peppers, onions, you name it. Of course we also try to keep some flowers growing as well to decorate throughout the embassy."

"I was wondering where all those beautiful arrangements came from. I was afraid to touch them and be disappointed on finding them artificial!"

"Nope, all raised from seed here." Lenna motioned to planting boxes further down the way, "There are a few varieties that take to Vulcan with a little bit of help, if you would like me to send you some starters."

"That would be wonderful! It would make me feel like our house is really my home with some familiar sights in the garden!"

Lenna smiled and took her by the arm, leading down one of the rows of planter boxes, where the air temperature dropped just a bit, "Over here are the colder weather crops such as broccoli, sugar snap peas, squash,and cabbage. Somewhere, someone has informed me there is even a pumpkin or two."

"Lenna this is so wonderful, this is like paradise!" Amanda pulled away from her hostess and flung her arms out, trying to take it all in, "It's been over a year since I've seen non-dehydrated Earth vegetables on Vulcan!"

"Wait to you see this," They had reached the end of the greenhouse and the older woman opened a new set of doors revealing an orchard of trees beyond.

"Fruit, really?"

"Anything you might desire. Not everything is in season at all times, but we do our best. And if you need anything, just put in an order."

"May I?" Amanda reached out as Lenna nodded approval, grabbing a ripe peach that hung down from an adjacent tree. Taking a large bite, she grimaced as a bit of the juice escaped and trailed down the corners of her mouth.

Both woman laughed as Amanda sought to wipe away the sticky sweetness.

"There's a fountain over in the gym where you can clean that up," Moving though the grove of trees toward the next set of doors, they were met by a slender but well-toned young man, "This is Marcus, he oversees everything here in the gym. The gym is fully-equipped and has a gravity-adjuster in place to make it normal Earth resistance. Marcus, this is-"

"Amanda Grayson," Amanda stretched out her hand, stopping Lenna's introduction mid-sentence.

"Amanda Grayson," Lenna repeated looking at her slyly.

"Pleased to meet someone new around here," He spoke with a dazzling smile.

"She's doing some freelance work for us here, so be sure that you be nice to her when she comes to visit.'

"You can be sure, Ms. McHenry," Marcus nodded slightly before excusing himself to get back to work.

Lenna turned to Amanda, questioning, "Any reason why you don't want to use the title?"

"I'd like to try to blend in as long as a can here at the embassy. I'm sure that when they learn who I am, it will change how they treat me, and I really would prefer to just be me for as long as I can manage it."

"Certainly understandable. And now, there is our piece de resistance, an olympic sized pool!" Lenna's hand made a sweeping motion as she pushed through the next set of doors, "Just what the doctor ordered when living in a desert gets to be too much!"

oooo0000oooo

"Word is that T'Yshin is not doing so well," Bart poured himself a glass of whiskey, his guest declining the offer of the same.

"She has celebrated the 276th anniversary of her birth in your years, I do not think she will see another," Sarek stiffened just a bit.

"She has been a good friend to us," Bart responded, "We'll miss her for sure."

"She has been a voice for moderation in the council. When her time is over, I fear that we will see a far more conservative hand," Sarek turned toward the large window, looking out on the open courtyard below that was circled by a number of embassies. Here in the embassy zone, the square was filled with the comings and goings of many of their Federation allies. Would it always be so?

He turned toward Bart, "Some fear that our people are being corrupted by out world influences."

"And I suppose that you are the poster boy for that?"

"Poster boy?" Sarek tilted his head ever so slightly, raising his brows in the process, " If I understand your reference, I would have to agree that I am indeed one of the most public examples of what they advise against."

"I have to admit, we are having our problems in some of the colonies as well," Bart settled into one of the overstuffed chairs and motioned for his guest to do the same.

"This is the Trumpeter Movement that we have been made aware of? They have been making the news feeds here as well, " Sarek settled into the chair opposite the Terran Ambassador.

" 'Using the trumpet of God's will to assert the superiority of the human race throughout the known galaxy.' Yes, indeed a bunch of close-minded bigots that started on one of the outer colonies. From what I understand they've started to establish a footing in some of the more conservative enclaves on Earth as well. President Martinez thinks that we have a handle on their activities, but it worries me."

"Do you perceive this to be a threat to the stability of Earth's government?"

"Nothing that extreme, but there is the fear it could cause trouble with our allies if they start going after non-human targets. Word is two Orions were killed three days ago on Beta Five when they went into the wrong bar. Someone started something and no one wanted to back down. Now they have seven of these Trumpeters in jail and the threats of a near riot on their hands, demanding their release."

"This movement could have, I fear, what you would call a domino effect here and on many other worlds who already see human dominance as a threat to their respective governments."

"You've hit the nail on the head there. Unfortunately, we don't have a lot of control out there in the colonies where the movement seems to have taken a good hold. All we can do is hope for the best and expect the worse as they say," Bart went to pour himself another drink, "You sure?"

Sarek nodded, "Perhaps a glass of Lenna's wine."

"No problem. I think that we are all going to need something to drink before this is all over," He went to the comm unit and within minutes one of the embassy employees arrived, carafe and glasses in hand before quickly departing.

"I checked on Amanda's mother, by the way," Bart advised as he poured his guest a glass, "She's okay but still on that Centauri moon. We advised her to leave, given her relationship to you. Should any of these idiots learn about it, we can't vouch for her safety out there."

"I appreciate your assistance."

Suddenly the door to the library opened, "And here come our lovely ladies back from the tour. I'd say we move to a more pleasant conversation."

Amanda moved toward her husband, "Sarek, you would not believe the wonderful gardens they have on site!"

He raised his brows waiting for further clarification

"They have vegetables and fruits and even a flower garden!"

Lenna now joined her husband's side as well, "I've let Amanda know that all she needs to do is ask and as long as it's in season we can have whatever she needs sent over to her."

"This is most kind of you," Sarek bowed slightly in appreciation, "My wife misses many of the delicacies of your world."

"Well, I've given her the grand tour of the gardens, the gym, and the pool. Is there anything I missed, Bart?"

"Did you let her know about the educational portals?"

"No, I should have known I'd miss something," Lenna laughed, "We also have educational portals to many of the finest universities back on Earth, there for your choosing."

"I'll be sure to take advantage of them, but I think before I start working on my Masters, I want to spend some time working on my Vulcan," Amanda rolled her eyes and sighed at the task.

"Good luck with that," Bart interjected, "I've been here five years and I don't think I could string together five sentences."

"And I feel like so far I've gotten five words down pat," Amanda laughed, "and four of them concern eating."

oooo0000oooo

"It was a lovely evening, wasn't it, Sarek?" She called to him through the open doors between the bedrooms, "Bart and Lenna are so kind. She is going to send me a weekly list of what's available produce-wise and told me to just put in an order and she'll have it delivered."

Amanda rested her hand on her dress before putting aside in the wardrobe. Who knew when she would be able to wear it again, "And the gym is Earth gravity, oxygen, and temperature, so I could exercise there without any issues."

Entering her bathroom to wash away any makeup, she continued, sure in the thought that with her husband's hearing, she didn't need to raise her voice, "And I know I will be able to use those portals when I am ready to start tackling getting back to my studies."

She moved out of the bath then through the unused bedroom, throwing on a light robe before closing the inner door behind her. Removing the robe to its accustomed spot at the foot of their bed and slipping under the light blanket, she continued, "Did Bart find out anything about -"

Sitting up, Amanda tilted her head in amazement. Sarek was already asleep. This was something new, she had never had him fall asleep before her, let alone when she was in the middle of a monologue. But he looked so peaceful, she thought, brushing away a stray curl from his forehead. So many things rested on his shoulders, she bent down and kissed him on the cheek before settling into bed beside him. Any additional news could wait another day. 


	4. Strange Things

**Chapter Four- Strange Things are Happening**

It took a few days, but Lenna got the promised list of available items to Amanda. It took her a little time to decide on just what she was going to request from the embassy garden; she was overwhelmed by what she was missing from Earth. But once she had placed her request, the box had arrived from the embassy in record time, delivered by Marcus, the young man from the gym. With him as the delivery boy, there went her desire for anonymity. She suspected that anytime she would now appear, heads would turn. But it was worth it for the gifts he brought with him.

"I guess this is one of your other duties?," Amanda laughed, moving to take the box from him.

"The gym only takes up a part of my day. The rest of it seems to be errand boy."

"Do you like that?"

"Being open to whatever is needed has given me the opportunity to see a lot. I've already worked on seven other planets before this one. "

"Looks like you're experienced where I'm just starting out," Amanda smiled at him, reaching for the box, "Let me take that."

"It's heavy. "

"Goodness, it truly is! Please tell Lenna how much this is appreciated," Amanda peeked inside the box. It was filled with all sorts of now exotic and long missed food items. As sh took the box from Marcus, he adjusted the grav-lifters on the side to lighten the load.

"Let me turn these lifts on before you try and take it," He hit a switch on the side of the box and it lightened considerably.

She found herself joking with him regarding what type of meal she was going to make that included onions, avocados and peaches, as she cradled the box in her arms, "You can't imagine how I've been dreaming of these for the last few days. It's been over a year since I've had fresh fruit to bake and vegetables to cook with. Can I get you anything, a drink maybe? We always need to be drinking around here."

"Water would be nice if you have some filtered?"

"Of course, I'll get you a drink. It'll be just a minute."

Suddenly, without warning, a loud crash came from the kitchen on the level below, echoing through the house. Inwardly Amanda jumped, but out worldly she fought to appear calm, at least until she could get rid of Marcus.

"And I am not sure of what that was. Probably the sehlat getting into something he shouldn't," Biting her lip, she scrambled to not appear anxious, "I'll be right back with that water,"  
Carrying the box into the kitchen, she suddenly stopped, nearly dropping it on the table. There on the floor lay the heavy stone slab that they used for baking broken cleanly in two. It had fallen with such force as to crack several of the floor tiles.

Cowering under the table was Eechiya.

"Come here, boy, I know that you could not have done this," she spent several minutes on the floor calming the animal until finally his trembling stopped, "What happened here? Where did Sarek go?"

At the mention of his surrogate parent's name, the sehlat whimpered.

"Well, let me get my guest his water and send him on his way and then we will figure this out," She quickly filled a glass from the filtered tap and made her way back to the entryway.

"And please, remember to let the ambassador and his wife how much I appreciate this," She handed the chilled glass over, the young man nodding as he downed his drink.

"It's nice seeing you again, Ms. Grayson, hopefully you'll be spending some time with us at the gym."

"I hope so as well, Marcus. Be careful out there!"

He looked at her, a question forming on his face.

"The heat." Amanda quickly clarified her statement, "It will be getting too hot out there for us soon."

"Yes, the heat," He repeated, "Well, have a good one."

"You, too," Amanda replying as she firmly shut the door behind him. She wondered about Marcus's odd response, what else was there to be careful of? But there was no time to linger on that puzzle right now, Right now she had to try and figure out just what had gone on in her kitchen.

"Sarek?" The last she had seen him he was in the garden, maybe he knew what had happened, but he was no where to be found.

"Will you help me find Sarek?" She dropped down to her knees to ruffle the Eechiya's thick neck fur. Curiously, the sehlat had started to retreat back to under the table. It was very confusing," Don't worry, don't worry. I can find him myself and we will solve whatever happened."

She rose from her place on the floor and spun around in a circle, trying to divine where her husband might have disappeared to. Instinctively, she looked out toward the garden. The house and grounds were ringed by a stone wall and a small expanse of desert shrubs, accessible through the courtyard garden on the lower level. As she looked past the gate to the desert beyond, the outermost gates to the desert were swinging as if someone or something had forcefully passed through them. What was going on?

oooo0000oooo

At first, she willed herself to be patient, busying herself about the house, but as time went on patience left her as well. Nightfall would soon be upon her and still no Sarek. She called his personal comm unit, she called his offices at the government building, she scoured the house from top to bottom, but still no Sarek. It was not like him. All day she had waited, and as the hours progressed, she became more and more anxious. As the sunset and the heat of the day dissipated, she took to pacing the length of the garden, over and over, stealing glances to the desert that lay just beyond the stone wall. All she had to work on was the swinging garden gate. She didn't know what to do, but night was falling and if he was out in the desert…

As much as she hated to do so, she still had a last resort. But taking it meant contacting Sarek's family. Amanda had an emergency number that T'Plilar had left with her several weeks ago. It was certainly an emergency, and she had no where else to turn but Sarek's own family to report him missing and see of they had any clues. But what would they think of her if she did? What would they think of Sarek disappearing?

She thought back to a brief conversation that she had in private with T'Pazia that day in Hav'Duc'et Norem. Amanda hadn't understood what she was being told at the time when her mother-in-law seemed to be intent on telling her that she should be aware regarding any unusual behavior. But the idea that Sarek might start to act irrationally made no sense. T'Pazia had been hesitant to elaborate on her statement, and they had been interrupted before Amanda had received any clarity. But it occurred to her this is just what T'Pazia meant, and it seemed to line up with something Sarek had said to her that night. Could this be the dreaded 'time' that everyone spoke of in circles?

She punched in the information and an unfamiliar face came to the screen. Before she could speak a word that face vanished to be replaced by a more familiar one.

"Sarek has gone missing."

T'Pazia's face was blank for a moment before Amanda realized that she had forgotten to turn the translator on in her com unit.

"Sarek has gone missing," She repeated, this time hearing the slight echo as her words were translated into Vulcan.

"I see. Amanda Grayson, there is a problem with my son?"

Amanda wondered if it was as strange on T'Pazia's end as it was on hers. Like an old-fashioned dubbed film, the words trailed behind lip movements that didn't match. It was one more bizarre thing to have to try and deal with.

"He's disappeared. I think he went out in the desert this morning and he still hasn't returned."

"I see."

Some words were exchanged off screen with another party,

"I would not be overly concerned at this time. This is only natural and an indicator that his time is his near. Some thing must have occurred to bring this extreme reaction," T'Pazia drew a breath, waiting for clarification from Amanda before preceding. All that Amanda could give was a puzzled look.

"Everything was fine this morning. I had just had some items that the Earth Embassy delivered from their garden. Then the was a loud bang from the kitchen and Sarek was gone."

"I see. And the delivery was made by?"

"A young man who works at the embassy-" Amanda stopped herself, could that have been what started it all? There was no reason for Sarek to think otherwise, she had just been polite with Marcus.

"At times, control can be broken by one small move which may seem insignificant to you or I," T'Pazia looked at her sternly, "But you or I are not a male entering his time. If you were a Vulcan, you would be able to reach out to him through the bond to reassure him that you are there in his need, that this was nothing. There would be no reason for the panic that he may feel taking hold. But you can not reach out to him to calm his mind as one of our own would. Even if the bonding was partially successful, it is one-sided and can only be initiated by Sarek."

The older woman was silent for a moment before Amanda sensed a slight furrowing of her brow, a narrowing of her eyes before T'Pazia continued, "However, it would seem to be as we have all feared, he has no way of sensing this. You can not reach out to him."

Amanda felt helpless- she had promised something that she was now being told she could not fulfill, "If only I can find him, he would let me in, I know. I promised I would be there, he knows that."

"Perhaps when he is rational he knows it. This is not a time for rational thoughts. Now all he knows is that he is alone in this."

"Help me then, help me find him and speak to him."

She was trying to hold onto staying calm, but it was useless. It was all she could do to avoid breaking down into tears as she pleaded with T'Pazia.

"Sarek has advised me that you plan to go ahead with this experimental procedure?"

Amanda wondered briefly about the change of subject, until she was able to put it all together. If she had understood correctly, it was going to be now or never. The Vulcan fertility cycle was tied into this elusive 'time'.

"Yes…"

"I would advise you to take any necessary steps needed at this time. When we are able to locate him, things may move too quickly. You need to contact the Genetics Laboratory at the Academy and have everything put in place. I will be sending T'Pliliar immediately with an aircar to assist you."

"I'll contact them as soon as I get off."

"And when you have finished with them, contact me once more and we will find him. This I will promise you, though I cannot promise how what sort of state he will be in. "

Amanda had started to say thank you when the line promptly disconnected.

It did not take long for T'Plilar to arrive in an assigned aircar. Amanda didn't know what to say to her. She was too young to be married, so somehow it didn't seem proper to discuss how Amanda's life felt like it was spiraling out of control, and how her uncle was now evidently in hiding. So she silently sat, eyes closed, trying to replay the last day to figure out what had gone wrong. Everything had been fine until Marcus came with the care basket from the embassy…

Luckily, T'Plilar seemed to have been told to ask no questions and they sat in silence during the brief ride.

T'Plilar left her in the hands of a research assistant, who promptly checked her into one of the out patient rooms. Within a short time, a parade of scientists and doctors were marching through the room, checking her vitals, until finally one stopped for a few moments to advise her that all was well and that they would be proceeding with implanting the modified ovum within 2.73 hidars.

"We will be giving you a sedative so that you will be able to relax as we do the procedure," The research assistant held a hypo against her arm, and she heard the faint hiss of the spray as it hit its target.

She nodded in compliance. As she started to fall asleep she found herself trying to figure out just how long was a hidar in minutes? Hours? Everything was getting fuzzy.

oooo0000oooo

She didn't remember calling T'Pazia once she had returned from the Genetics Lab. In a daze, she remembered taking an aircar home in the early morning hours. But T'Pazia was here now and all she could think of was if she was in the wrong bedroom…

"You have done all that is necessary at the Medical Research Center and the Genetics Laboratory? "

"Yes, then they called an aircar and sent me home and," Suddenly Amanda remembered- it was all like a dream, "And Sarek was here and he helped me into bed, I remember that. I was so groggy."

"Groggy?" Some words were hard to translate for the small unit that T'Pazia carried with her.

"Tired. I slept through the day and on through the night. And I just woke up only a short time ago, and then I realized that Sarek had left again- he hadn't- I can't find him!"

"Be still, he must have left you a message if he was rational enough to help you into your bed."

"No, nothing, nothing at all!"

T'Pazia looked down at Amanda's hands. They were trembling ever so slightly

"Here, take these," She pressed two small pills into Amanda's hand.

"What are these?'

"They are stimulants and will help your mind clear. It is good that you have been sleeping most of the day as you will need your strength. But these will assist you in banishing this 'groggy' you speak of as well as help you in the coming hours. "

Amanda quickly downed the pills as T'Pazia continued.

"In all probability he is still here in the house. He will not be able to fight the need to be near you, but the reasoning portion of his brain will not want you to see him as he is. And you have no means to let him know that you will be there for him. All he thinks now is that you will be repulsed," She stopped and took in the room around her, "Either way, we must have you prepared. If my son had chosen a proper Vulcan wife, this would be for her women folk to do. As it is, I am all that either of you have at present. Sit."

Amanda moved to the spot that was indicated as T'Pazia located her brush and set to untangling the thick waves that had spent the last twenty-four hours gathering knots. She pulled Amanda's hair hard and taunt as possible before tightly braiding and fastening it.

"You have a robe? Just the robe, abandon the shift. it will be more appropriate."

Sliding out of the shift, Amanda tied the robe snuggly, T'Pazia appeared to be in thought, her brow furrowed much like her son's, "Give me a moment. "

The Vulcan's eyes widened slightly, as she moved to the doors between the bedrooms and tugged on them, "These are barred?"

"No, never, there's not even a lock," Amanda rose and moved over to the doors giving a firm tug on them as well. It was as if they were sealed shut, "I never…"

T'Pazia had already made her way out to the balcony that the rooms shared, Amanda following. Fruitlessly, she tried to gain admittance to the adjoining room that way with no luck. The drapes were drawn shut over the sliding doors, blocking out all view of who or what might be locked in.

T'Pazia stared at the locked doors for a moment, her face betraying no emotion, "You are graced with the fact that my son has chosen to lock himself in his own bedroom and not in some desert cave."

Amanda wondered what that was about and whether she would ever be able to ask for an explanation.

Letting out a sigh T'Pazia moved to the final entry point, in the inner hall. She had turned the translator off and now leaned her head against the door, speaking in a low, soothing voice, her words rocking in a sing song manner, as one would to calm a child. Finally and carefully, she was able to slide open the door, just enough to let her slip in before quickly closing it again.

Amanda stood in the hallway waiting, wondering what was going to happen next, repeating a mantra to herself, promising to keep her promise and be brave no matter what happened. After what seemed like an eternity T'Pazia exited the darkened room.

"Go to him now," she took Amanda's arm and squeezed it tightly for a moment, shocking Amanda with the sudden intimacy, "We are, each one of us placing our trust in you. Do not let us down, Amanda Grayson. Keep him safe."

With that she turned and left Amanda staring at the door in trepidation. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and entered the unknown. 


	5. Pon Faar

**Chapter 5- Pon Faar**

The bedroom was dark as she had never seen it before, the only light coming from the small firepot in the corner. As her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, suddenly she saw him, the gleam of light from the firepot answered by the green fire reflected in his eyes. She felt his mind reaching out to hers, racing ever faster in need, then suddenly, Amanda felt an almost physical force confronting her, it was as if she had run into a wall of pain and fear, a trembling echoing through both mind and body. She took a breath and tried pulling back, looking to find an exit and a calmer way into the maelstrom where she was being pulled, but there it was again, an imposing boundary keeping her from where she sensed she had to go.

Forcefully, she willed herself out of the morrass that threatened to pull her in, looking to avoid a full assault against the wall he had built around his thoughts. Any direct approach seemed to be countered by her husband's instinctive defenses. She tried in earnest sending tendrils of acceptance and all the loving feelings that she had for him, filling her mind with them, hoping against hope he would sense her and use her feelings. She imagined herself throwing her thoughts toward him, looking to anchor them within the mortar that held that wall he had built, searching for the thread that the bonding had left, using it to find any weakness that would allow her entry. Firmly, slowly and quietly she saw herself pulling the bricks away, working at them one by one if she needed to, to find the mind trapped within.

"I promised you I would always be here for you," she whispered to her husband as she moved closer, extending her hands toward him,"I am not afraid of you or of anything you imagine is part of you. Because it's not, I see you in there, in the midst of all that fear."

She dropped to her knees and put her arms around him. He fought against her embrace but she held on, holding him tight cradling his head against her breasts, soothing his burning forehead with her kisses.

"Let me do this for you, I can do what ever you need me to, I just need you to allow me to do so," She bent over, taking his face in her hands, she gazed at him clearly, looking past first the haze, then the questioning, then finally the sense of amazement she saw in his eyes.

"Amanda?" his voice was horse but his thought for that moment was clear, "My Wife."

"Yes and you are Sarek, my husband."

She took his hands and placed them against her brows, willing the bond to work. It had to. Slowly, a crack seemed to open up in that impenetrable wall, letting the recognition build. At first it was it was a minor fault, a slender crack barely perceptable, then all of a sudden, it gaveway and the floodgates of his mind opened, and the hold that fear held over his body dissapated.

"You are here, you have not left me?" His voice was rough.

"I promised, remember?"

"Remember, yes, I remember. You promised you would be with me."

"Yes, and here I am," she held him hard against her, reinforcing her vow that she could never let him go as long as he needed her. To Amanda's surprise, he returned the embrace, holding her so tight, she could hardly breathe.

"Loosen just a bit."

Sarek looked back at her, the fear slipping back into his eyes and she fought to reassure him, "No, no. Just a little. I'm not going anywhere."

He would be protected within in both in mind and body and he would be safe; she would not run in fear or repulsion. It would be alright. Amanda had promised and she was keeping her promise.

Standing now, she took him by both hands, carefully guiding him to the adjoining bedroom. With it's temperature controls, it would be a better call to combat the heat coming, not just for her from the pending height of the day, but the fever which radiated from his body.

Letting go of one hand, she brushed aside the clothing items that had been strewn across the bed and tossed aside the coverlet.

He looked at her questioning. She felt herself losing him again, the haze in his eyes building back up. She had to work quickly now. She pulled on the single tie at his waist that held in robe in place, showering kisses on his chin, collar bone, and chest, traveling now the lenght of his body. He buried his hands in her hair, a soft moan indicating that she was taking the right track. Losening herself from his grip for a moment, she slipped off her own robe and then fell back onto the bed, taking him along with her.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him into her with her body as he pulled himself into her mind. Suddenly, they were no longer two separate beings, but one, moving in a frantic rythmn, building a passion that rang higher and higher until at last it there was nothing but a desparate cry in exquisite ecstasy.

But it was not over, he had only slowed for a moment to pull up onto his knees, taking her with him, still moving as one. Now their motions became more evenly paced, building now at a more measured beat, until once again they reached the mutual climax. It would take a final time until her was sated, sprawling unto his back this time as she straddled him, her body swaying to a tantalizing rythmn, like a dancer in heat. Then finally, the one last climax and their minds and bodies fell away in exhaustion.

She lay breathless, her racing heartbeat no match for the frantically beating of his own, like a hummingbird locked that was away in his ribcage.

"You are still here?" He whispered, his voice tinged with amazement, his hands running down the lenght of her body.

"Of course, I promised, I love you," She kissed him long and tenderly, then pulled back, cheeks streaked with tears.

"Yes, you promised and you did not leave me, " His voice was barely a whisper. His eyelids slowly fluttered and with a moment's notice, releasing her from his grasp, he was asleep.

Amanda brushed her own exhaustion aside in favor of a shower once she made sure that her husband was sleeping soundly and would not need her again. There was no thought of water conservation now as she turned the shower up to its highest pressure, letting the swift jets of water wash away all traces of worry, until finally, she slipped to the bottom of the stall in exhaustion, the rivulets working to lore her into sleep as well. Before she fell to their spell, she resigned herself back to the bed, and draping her arm across her husband, locking him safe in her embrace.

oooo0000oooo

It could have been late morning or late afternoon when she finally woke the next day, time seemed to have no meaning for her now. Amanda let herself sink into the soft folds of the sheets and stretched. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she slowly opened them, suprised to find the bed beside her empty. She threw on her robe and moved to open the shades which had been drawn tight. It was dusk and she had slept the entire day away.

A sudden panic overwhelmed her, what if the events of the prior day had to be played out over again, what if Sarek had dissapeared once more? Whatever link had existed in those initial throes of passion had receded, leaving her no clue of what had happened. Surely, after all that it was not over and done with so quickly? Had it really been so dire if all that was required was a night of unbridled passion?

Then Amanda felt his breath upon her neck, and the run of his hands down her arms, pulling free her robe in the process. She turned, eyes downcast for a moment before looking up at her husband,wondering who or what she would find. The chaos of the prior day was gone from his eyes, instead there lingered what she could only describe as a steady desire. She rested her head against his broad chest, gently covering it with kisses. Then suddenly she was in the air.

Sarek swept her off her feet and into his arms, settling her tenderly on the bed. His hand caressed the sides of her face, as she looped her own arms around his neck, pulling him close to her.

"My Wife," he whispered into her ear, "You have kept your promise."

"I could never do otherwise," she responded as she wrapped her legs around him once more.

oooo0000oooo

To Amanda's relief, it was really only the initial panic that was problematic. In the future, now that she knew what to expect she could nip that frantic fear in the bud before it had the chance to take hold of her husband.

Once that first primal pressures were released, she could compare the days that followed to those old movies where the honeymooners left a sign on their door "Do not disturb", and the accumulation of room service trays outside the door signaled the days that went by before they came up for air. It was sex, eat, sleep as everything started to slowly subside in a languid stream of days spent without a care but taking pleasure in one another.

Days and nights of intense passion, gave way to the ease of nights spent with just lazy lovemaking, reveling in one another's embrace. Not that the normal time they spent together was made anything less, but this was just different. She had a husband for whom she was the center of universe if only for a short time. Sarek had no thoughts of work, or politics, or any outside duties except to please her. There was no talk about logic, no restrictions on emotions. She could feel adored and pampered without any restraints on his part. Outside of her, his ordinary life and mind existed in a another dimension, one which he had abandoned if only for this time.

In the end, what Amanda found was that the only fear was the fear of the unknown, and once need was laid bare, there was in fact nothing there to fear. It was a straw man that had loomed in the darkness, but in the morning's light was only her husband, neither demon nor saint.

She thought all of this over as she made her way to the balcony outside of their bedroom doors and joined her husband on the hammock that he had strung there to enjoy the encrouching dusk. It was there that they could have an unobstructed view of the desert and the star strewn sky above it. It was no longer uncommon on nights such as this that they would wrap themselves up, cocooned in blankets and fall asleep, lulled by the magic of the night.

"I am almost regretting when things will get back to normal," Amanda crawled into the hammock next to him, sighing as she held him tight against her, snuggling close in the cradle of the hammock, "These last few days, as things have calmed, well, it's been so nice to have you to myself."

"Indeed. I would say that this is mutual," He kissed her softly on her head, burying in lips in the maze of curls.

"How much longer until it be over?"

"You wish it to be over, My Wife?'

"Not really," She laughed," But I know you have work to get back to, and I don't know how they are making the Federation run without you. So how long? "

There was a pause, then a response.

"I believe that technically it passed three days ago."

She pulled back, almost causing them both to tumble out of the hammock, "What?"

"I have concluded that I am, as you say, 'back to normal'.

"You fraud! Why didn't you let me know?"

"You did not ask."

"I shouldn't need to ask!"

Her mouth was set in a tight line, she wanted to be angry, and yet… what did it cost her that he had done nothing but forge an excuse for few extra days where the world could stop existing but for one another?

"I guess I'll forgive you. But next time, I plan to know better!"

He tiltled her chin upward, "That is most agreeable, My WIfe."

"Should well be…" Before she could finish her statement, his lips were upon hers and she gave into the moment.

And with that they made such love under the stars that Amanda envisioned that mighty songs could be sung and epic poems might be written of them some day. Or so she imagined…


	6. Unexpected Results

**Chapter 6- A Surprising Result**

When the fog had finally lifted from even the remotest corners of his brain, he set back to work. Reports had built up while waiting for Sarek to come back to himself. Now that he felt his need retreat to even the remotest corners, allowing reason and logic to return, it was time to restore his life to a normal routine

He sat taking notes while catching up on the news feeds. Too many crisises seemed to have happened both on and off world in the lenght of an inopportune time, and he had to bring himself up to date on all of them to find his footing back in the world.

Sarek had to admit that he imagined a hint of regret in his mother's voice when she was advised that Amanda was both alive and had no intention of leaving him. He supposed that, given her inability to stop their marriage, his mother still assumed that once his time was over, Amanda would have no choice but to leave. She was, after all, only human, and having laid bare before her the deepest realms of the Vulcan soul, she would be repelled.

Instead, the exact opposite appeared to have occured. Both of them were only more secure in their relationship to one another. Just as the bond had reinforced Amanda's need to know of his innermost feelings for her, her patience and gentle hand during his time of need had shown her promise was true. He had no doubts now that she would in fact, always be there for him.

He turned away from more pleasnt thoughts to the present, the news on the feeds were not good. During the time he was sequestered, the situation with both the fundalmentalist Terran Trumpeter movement, and the isolationist Qzari-Oni movement there on Vulcan had become of paramount concern. And if that were not enough, T'Yshin had taken a turn for the worse. She was not expected to live out the nasrim.

There was a backlog of calls to be returned, and an inbox filled with reports forwarded from various sources. That he entered into the process of reviewing them all as well rested was a gift. There was much work to be done, such forces as could be mustered against the rising tides that were working against the very ideals he worked to bring about.

And now, a brief flash on his screen brought up the news from his mother that T'Yshin had slipped into a coma and T'Lar had arrived to be by her side. He put his work aside. T'Yshin had always been good to him. He would not be so lucky with the next council head. His concentration broken, left his office for the serenity of the garden, bringing the pad and a stylus with him.

Quitely, without disturbing her, he watched his young wife as she sat humming to herself, one of her cherished books in front of her. She was turned to the sunset watching it unfold, framed by the inner courtyard gate that led out to the desert. Amanda had propped herself against Eechiya's broad back, under the shade of one of the wide leafed janieir trees. The sehlat seemed to have finally accepted this strange smelling creature as the mate of his adopted parent and had become somwhat protective of her over the last few days.

His wife was blissfully unaware that their respective worlds were in turmoil around them, and he planned to keep it so as long as he was able. She offered him a support to place his hopes that tides could be reversed and resolutions could be achieved. As if in reponse to his thoughts, she turned and smiled at him.

Suddenly, Amanda rose up from her spot on the garden floor and putting the book aside, she stretched, wandering over toward the table where he was sitting. She stopped a few feet away, looking at him for a long moment, her head tilted in curiosity.

"My Wife?" He could use the term now in acknowledgment of it's full value.

She moved closer, pausing just shy of him, watching him as he jotted a few notes on the pad , taking a moment before answering, "In humans the right hand side of the brain controls the left hand side of the body and vice versa. Is this the same in Vulcans?"

He wondered where this line of questioning was going, there was a hint of mischief sparkling in those enchanting blue eyes, "It would appear to be as such."

"And the logical, reasoning side of the brain is the left, and the emotional, creative side is the right?"

He was not sure that he liked the direction where this was going.

She moved closer, placing her elbows on the table and leaned over toward him, her face nestled in her hands, "Are there very many left-handed Vulcans?"

He looked at her, eyes narrowing ever so slightly, wondering if she were looking to question his mental facilities, "No."

"So," She moved from her spot and settled on the arm of his chair, rustling his hair,"I have found a rare left-handed, wavy-haired, hazel green-eyed Vulcan?"

"It would seem that is the case."

"I suppose this anomaly is the result of thousands of years of interbreeding between the High Houses?" She circled round until she was leaning up against the side of his chair.

He looked at her.

"And he was made just for this little Terran girl to find and fall in love with," She took his face in her hands and bent down to kiss him.

He pulled his chair out just enough for her to slip into his lap, "This is as you believe? I had assumed that it was I that found you sitting in the dark on your grandmother's steps."

"I probably knew you were coming," she let her finger trace the cruve of his ear, "Only reason I was there."

He raised his brows, "Indeed?"

"Indeed," She nodded in agreement.

"Did I ever tell you why those fireflies let off that light?" Amanda tilted her head to look at him.

"No, you did not."

"They do it to find mates. I'm sure they didn't realize that they were helping us do the same in the process."

"Do you think we required such assistance?" He raised his brows in questioning.

"I think that it certainly helped, having a neon sign pointing to you!" She rustled his hair laughing, burying her fingers in the black waves.

She leaned her head against his, staring at the news feed he had been reading, as if willing herself to understand the strange glyphs that rolled across it. At this point she could pick out his name if she would see it, but most other words were subject to changes in structure so subtle that she had problems figuring out one from another.

"What has been going on in the world since we've been in hiding?"

"Our Head of Council is dying."

"Oh, no," Amanda pulled back a bit to look at him more directly.

"She is 276 of your years. It is only to be expected."

"Who will replace her?"

"Who indeed. That is a battle yet to be fought in the council chambers."

"This is bad news, isn't it?"

"Until T'Yshin dies and a sucessor is proposed, it is neither bad nor good. But there does not appear to be a result we could be in favor of," There was no denying that they would be losing a valuable ally, "However, we do not know what the outcome will be. It is useless to conjecture; what will be, will be."

"But you think it may be someone you'd rather not have to deal with, who you believe will not share your point of view on policies you feel are improtant?"

"There is a possibility that it will be a Qzari-Oni that advances to the head of council."

"That is a separate sect? What does Ksari-Only mean? "

"Qzari-Oni. I do not believe if that it can be translated into Earth Standard terms."

"Explain to me the difference so I don't feel so ignorant."

"You are not ignorant, you just have yet to understand all the ways of my people," Sarek paused, composing his explanation, "You are aware that Surak's tenets are referred to as Nihari, the basis of our civilization?"

"Yes."

"There are those who believe that these tenets are strict guidlines that should not be altered or adjusted in any way from what they were thousands of years ago when Surak first composed them. They are known as Qzari-Oni."

"But you don't hold that opinion."

"Correct. Those of us who believe that the Nihari are meant to be flexible are known as A'tiam- Ori. As the years have passed we believe that it is only logical that changes and adjustments need to be made to the Nihari as our world has to learn how to deal with other species. We also hold a stong belief in IDIC as an essential outgrowth of the Nihari," He continued, "The Qzari-Oni look upon IDIC, as not being compatiable with their interpretation of Nihari, as it holds within it the implication of emotional response."

"Joy," Amanda responded. It was something that they both knew well as an intrical part of their own diverse union.

Sarek nodded.

"I think I now understand better why some people have a more of problem with me than others," she looked away for a moment, "But if IDIC is one of Surak's tenets, how can they argue with it?"

"IDIC was not an original tenet. On Surak's death, his katra was carried for a time by his wife, T'Paneah. During this time she had a revelation, one which she interpreted as Surak's attempt to correct what he believed was a misinterpretation of the Nihari that was beginning to appear among his followers. That revelation was translated into the tenet of IDIC, that the true way to a lasting peace was to learn to rejoice in our differences and to accept them without any attempt to change those differences. Finding and accepting, believing in the need to see the other as they are, no more and no less, and instead using what differences one does find as a source of joy in the ultimate uniqueness of life."

"It is a very idealistic philosophy, one which I wonder if it could ever be truly achievable?" She let out a deep sigh, as her finger traced the furrow between his brows, "I suppose that you will need to get back to work. I didn't mean to pull you away, I know you have a lot to catch up on. I've had you to myself for long enough, I suppose. "

"Tomorrow I am meeting with several members of our House to discuss strategies," She frowned a bit before he added, "But today, My WIfe, I am yours one more day."

She smiled at him, a smile that read to him of hope and optimism. Would that it always be there for him.

Amanda let her hand play with the collar of his tunic, then slipping underneath it to caress the dry warmth of his chest. He followed in return, loosening the shoulder ties on her shift, allowing his hand to play along the lines of her back.

"Perhaps this is better continued in our private quarters."

"Why? There is no one here, just us, or are you afraid Eechiya will go telling tales to the neighborhood sehlats?"

He gave her a long look, "Too many days have now been spent with little care of what the neighborhood sehlats would think."

"It's okay. I think I have had enough wild, crazy sex to last me for a while," She pulled back a little and let her finger trace the lenght of his nose before kissing it lightly, " I'll love you where ever, be it in the garden or in the bed. But just one day, I think I would like to get you underneath those janieir trees."

oooo0000oooo

He had spent the last few days being briefed by his sources on the multiple crisises that only seemed to multiply, as quickly as possible. There was much that had to be done, now that T'Yshin had passed on. He was expected to be at the Katra ceremony early this evening. If he had his way, he would have brought Amanda, but that would only be adding fuel to the fire. In doing so, he chanced being turned away and that would surely cause some sort of friction between Houses already at odds. He owed it to T'Yshin's memory not to cause her final memorial to be turned into a clash of wills.

"T'Yzhin was a great friend to this house, was she not, Xcha'ala'at?" One of the main household retainers had been sent to aid him in dressing in the formal ceremonial robes that were required. The cloak and and heavy gold neckpiece would always require assistance although as of now, the neckpiece held only the initial sections. One day, if all went as planned, a second and even a third section might be added. But the future was beyond his reach now, and had changed, it had seemed not for the better.

The retainer gave a brief tug on the trailing cloak to make sure it was properly in place. Sarek nodded briefly and made to exit the small dressing room and to the main entry. The aircar would be arriving shortly, carrying his mother and sister. It would be a long night.

As he made his way to leave, Sarek moved to one of the windows that opened up onto the courtyard garden. Pulling back the fretworked shutters he glanced down into the garden. Amanda was there, elbow deep in dirt, attempting to plant some of the clippings that Lenna had sent her along with the needed samplings of Terran earth to mix with the native soil. After a moment, she stood up and stretched, then turned toward windows. Upon seeing him she waved, mouthing her goodbyes. She smiled when he returned the gesture.

He held her image and looked at her closely. There was something different about her. Over the last few days since his time had subsided it seemed that something had changed, and with each day it was a little more apparent. It was almost as if…

Suddenly his eyes widened in recognition of something that had been furthest from his mind. He had not considered it the slightest possibility and with all that was going on…

Maybe he was imagining it, certainly it was not anything he had had the opportunity to experience before. If she were a Vulcan she would have known by now and could confirm or deny his suspicions. Imagined or no, he was making a call to the Genetics Laboratory immediately, once he returned from Seleya. If there was the slightest chance, time was of the essense. The window of viability was razor slim. His wife somehow seemed capable of one more miracle…


End file.
